One of the stranger things that I remember from TV in the nineties was trying to make sense of Tori Spelling’s breast dent after her dad bought her a set of tits on 90210. I think it had to do with her being pigeon chested like this dude I know who was born pre-mature to a drug and alcohol addicted mother and grew up to have the weirdest shaped borderline crippled body that lead to him wearing numerous braces and harnesses so that he wouldn’t fall apart when he banged his wife. She told me it was like fucking a cyborg…a very frail asthmatic cyborg.
One of the stranger things that I remember since the nineties is that some meal ticket motherfucker actually got it on with Tori Spelling to the point of knockin’ her up twice. That’s about the level of knocking up, where using the “I was drunk” excuse doesn’t fly.
I’d still bang her and her saturated womb, but that’s cuz she’ll always be the virgin on 90210 for me and I kinda have a crush on virgins. The truth is that I don’t actually like virgins because they are either too young or too socially awkward but I pretend I do for the sake of posts, that’s just how versatile I am.
Tori Spelling is disgusting so it’s not surprising that she’s celebrating that she’s been knocked up by running around in a bikini. It’s her way of letting us all know that some dude was willing to get up in that and that we’ve missed our window because she’s a taken women. It’s her big fuck you to everyone who ever slept with her but insisted on using a condom so that they never have to be stuck to answering to her for the rest of the kid’s life and like all pregnant girls who pull themselves away from the toilet long enough to do some kind of photoshoot, she’s showing off the battle wounds of sex, that are just going to get worse when the baby pops out of her leaving her with even less sex appeal than she had before this whole mess. Pregnancy is only a beautiful thing to the girls who are pregnant because all their friends tell them how beautiful they look while under their breath are thankful it’s not them. Not to mention, they only hang with a pregnant chicks to make themselves more appealing. It’s like how chicks hang with ugly girls to make themselves look hotter because standing next to a knocked up bitch makes any girl look skinny and desirable, because only really desperate assholes with sick festishes are horny enough to hustle a pregnant chick, so hanging with a pregnant chick is also a filter because that is the kind of guy no girl wants to mistakenly have a one night stand with unless of course she’s pregnant and wants to be naughty for a night, because it’s pretty clear that they already put out.
I’ve taken shits hotter than Tori Spelling and I have some kind of liver failure shit that I never got checked out that fucks up my digestion, not that you care, but I figured I’d throw it out there so that you know that my bloody yellow stool is better put together than this bitch.
She hosted some Pussycat Doll show in Vegas and by looking at these pictures she looks like she’s better suited to host a tranny show in some seedy gay club that the tranny’s don’t even bother checking out because they’d rather sit at home and do their hair.
I was at a strip club and saw some bitch who looked a lot like Tori Spelling, only her tits were about 10 times the size, she was one of those fetish type of girls who was raped growing up and is taking reactive measures to deal with the pain of having her innocence taken. I’m talking tits so big bitch was a fucking cartoon character and when she took off my friends hat, and covered her tit with it, shit barely covered her insanely huge nipples. One of the many things better about this girl than Tori Spelling is that her pussy was pierced shut with some serious metal clasps and cages that made her look like she had a dick in her panties, but when it came off just brought home the fact that no dick was getting in that shit and no baby was coming out….Unfortunately for us, Tori obviously doesn’t have that proven by the fact that she just had a baby, and now some poor kids gotta grow up with a mom as embarrassing as this.
Isn’t this bitch pregnant or something, oh that’s right, no one really cares about her and no one ever did. Everyone gave her slack for being the daughter of “Dallas” or whatever fuckin’ show made Aaron Spelling the biggest TV producer in the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s. It’s not that I give a fuck about spoiled bitches, I actually like how they let their angst dominate their lives, and think it’s the center of the whole universe. I also like the fact that they always turn to drugs, mainly cocaine, sometime heroin or scprits. I like that they are always the victims, meanwhile they had everything they want growing up. I can just imagine how much of a cunt Tori was to her latina maid/nanny. I can also imagine how much of a cunt she was when she demanded to be on daddy’s show. And it’s really turning me on. Unlike her tit, that she’s busted, the nipple’s too big for the tit, and I always thought she had implants, if bitch had implants, nothin’ would be aimin to the ground. Stop focusing on the tits, you useless fuck, and let’s try to have a meaningful conversation.
