Girls don’t understand that after we’re through banging them, we really want nothing to do with them, until the next time we want to bang them and have no better pussy lined up. That’s how people end up married, they get hooked on the constant sex that takes little to no work to get, because we are lazy. The same goes for porn. Once we’ve seen a girl fuck a ton of dudes and suck a ton of dicks, we’ve pretty much got no use for her, because we know we’d never fuck her and if we really wanted to, we’d just have to come up with about 10,000 dollars, because all pornstars escort on the side. So I don’t even know why I am posting these Tera Patrick pics, she’s pretty much dead to me and I don’t even watch porn. People never believe me when I say that, but it’s true. Maybe it’s because my penis doesn’t work and I can’t pretend I am the dude fucking some nasty big pussied whore but I think it’s just because I don’t like what porn chicks look like. I am more into amateur shit, but that’s just because watching real couples fuck is real and not performance art like the studio shit, not that there’s much art or performing involved, but shit’s not real.

Either way, here’s Tera Patrick wearing more clothes than we’re used to seeing her disgusting ass in, eating more food than her fat back probably needs and rockin’ out with her pimp of a husband who probably feels like he won the lottery, but that’s just because he’s bald and Jewish and she’s good for business, and by business I mean managing her is his source of income…but I am sure they are in love….just look how he sticks his tongue out at her like she’s an ice cream cone if you don’t believe me…because everyone loves ice cream, especially my wife.

I figured that since no one gives a shit about Taryn Manning and that she is the kind of famous person that is so famous no one’s ever heard of her, you know she is so famous that if she was spotted sitting next to you in a restaurant and you asked her to pass you the ketchup and she introduced herself as Taryn Manning, you’d still have no fucking idea who she was. That’s the fame that buys you a RAZR cellular that comes free with your cell phone contract and the kind of Fame that allows you to buy your poverty looking luggage at one of those bargain basement stores….and the kind of fame that allows you into Kid Rock’s home to borrow his pants.

The point is that I don’t think Taryn Manning is hot. She reminds me of an uneducated white trash mother who drinks, does meth and eats Kraft Dinner. But not the kind of uneducated white trash mother I like, you know the kind who dresses slutty and tries to sleep with everyone in the town because she’s lonely. Taryn Manning has that face of a girl who works the dinner or a factory or drives a truck or works for UPS and who doesn’t take shit from anyone. But rumor has it that people find her hot and despite those same people not realizing that they are gay cuz her name is manning and she looks like a man. I’ll still post the pics.

My community college friend “Shanna” flaked out on me and our friend “StripTease,” who i call StripTease because she will flash you her rack within five minutes of meeting her. Basically Shana’s phone went directly to voice mail which means she was too drunk to charge her cell, dropped it down a toilet, and was choking on her own vomit somewhere. She is in deep shit either way.

StripTease and I gave up and got stoned in her Brooklyn apartment that is directly above a funeral parlor. I swore off weed 3 years ago, but i wanted to be somewhere else without having to drink my way there, and I’ll take what’s given to me. StripTease bought a Chanel purse for 20 bucks off a cokehead who was selling her shit for more coke. StripTease was excited about her new boyfriend’s big dick, but pretty pissed about having to bail her little sister out of jail for shoplifting lip-gloss from a pharmacy. I told her that if her sister wants to rebel properly, she should just start giving $10 blow-jobs off the West Side highway, and the rest will work itself out.

So this is a pretty boring post because i got fucked up instead of fucked last night. But on the train back into the city, a button-nosed little banker passed out and his head landed in my lap. I let the little fucker nuzzle up in my groin because that was about as much play as I had coming. I considered taking his laptop with me at my stop, but I prefer stealing from fat tourists.

Here is Tara Reid being a tourist in Italy, and rolling with a crew of gypsies. I would like to have been a gypsy back in their hey-day like 300 years ago. Riding around in a caravan from place to place, stealing shit, camping out, and drinking. In a way that’s what I did as a hooker, except I road on cocks instead of in Caravans. Have fun busting one to Tara Reid looking more like a Gypsy whore than a botched lypo experiment.

obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hookler, friend of Jesus)

Britney has pretty much been my daily source of entertainment for the last little while. I am never surprised as what she does yet wait eagerly for each new days news in regards to her to come my way, much like when you sit and stare out the window waiting for the mailman to bring your monthly issue of SPANK (except I don’t hide this perversion from my Mom like you do). The only problem is since nothing is surprising me, I’m starting to feel like it’s not so special anymore.

Remember when you first got the internet and would see a picture of somebody shitting on someone else and be all like “Ooooohhhhh whoa!!” Then gradually, it didn’t surprise you anymore right? Then it got to the point where you had been to rotten.com and all those other fucked up sites so many times that you would see a dead baby with its head blown off off being held up by its mother while she was being fucked by her son, and it was just like “Meh, big deal”

Me and Britney are kind of like you and those sites, It still interests me, but in the end I’ve seen it all before.

You can bet your ass I’m still gonna look though!!

hugs and kisses
Marie-eve Martinez