Thank god they are funny, or that people think they are funny, because I don’t find them funny, but they are fucking ugly….maybe half of the laughs they get are from people awkwardly trying to process the mess that they are lookin’ at. You know, like the time I went to the hospital to visit a friend of mine who had been in a car accident and everytime people I knew warned me how offensive the sight was, I’d go into hysterics, or even like the time I couldn’t stop laughing when a friend of mine confessed to be about being raped violently by a masked man, leaving me feeling awakward knowing that I was the guy who raped her, hey, she was wearing a short skirt and totally was into it when it happened, don’t judge, I did the noble thing andconfessed to her a couple years later and she took it pretty well considering, you know she didn’t press charges or anything….but I haven’t been getting her annual Christmas cards or birthday phone calls, so she could be a little upset about it…..
I don’t know what I am saying, I am so fucking confused and distracted by the way these two look….
Bonus - That’s Not Really a Bonus - Because More Pics of this Cunt is More Like a Punishment - But Luckily So Is Everything On the Site - So I’m Sticking With Bonus - More Pics of Her….
I think the Willis family are pretty fucking rancid girls. I am talking wrongfully labeled People’s Most Beautiful because their mom paid off the magazine to put them on the list and was trying to cover-up the lies that she’s been feeding them their entire life when they come to her crying that a boy turned them down because they look like monsters.
Now every time Rumer comes crying on her mother’s doorstep, interrupting Ashton Kutcher’s MILF Fantasy where Demi teaches him how to tie his shoe while fucking his face, she can bust out the magazine and say “what do guys know, People Magazine said your beautiful”, tricking her into believing it and shutting her the fuck up so Rumer can goes back to her life with her delusion, far from Demi, because every time Demi looks at Rumer, she has to be reminded of how she wronged the world and how God wronged her, so it’s better to keep shit out of sight, for pretty much all of us,
Sometimes delusion is better than the truth since the truth in this case would lead any normal person to jump off a fucking bridge to say goodbye to this cruel world and leave their broken up face in a ravine/river where it belongs….
I don’t know what the fuck Demi Moore did wrong in a past life, or what the silicone implants and botched plastic surgery/ drug use did to her uterus but I think it’s just bad genes, because when she was younger she was a fuckin’ disgusting troll of a woman too, but she was smart enough to invest in herself and trick the world into thinking she was worth fucking, and by world I mean Ashton Kutcher, her tool to make her feel young.
Either way, I got this email about the Willis sisters and since I am lazy today, I figured I’d put it out there, because I hate them, and apparently so do other people.
i wish rumer was doing something other than being ugly in these pics. do what you wish with them. they might not end up being of any use to you.
rumer is a major cunt though. i met her and wanted to choke her all night. the way she treated the staff there was insane. she barked orders at them like they were idiots. bitch doesn’t even know how to say thank you.
When you’re that ugly, you’re allowed to hate the world. Here are those pics.
Audrina makes or made 35,000 dollars per episode of The Hills she was on, she may even make more than that now and she doesn’t deserve it according to me. Most fake titty retarded girls I know, make 10 dollars a song and are lucky to walk out of the club with 1000 dollars a week, and they get naked for that, while Audrina just stands around lookin’ like a fucking idiot. I know saying she should strip is standard and nothing new, but I don’t even think she’s got what it takes to do that. She is that talentless, and the only skill she had was having a family member or friend with a hook up who gave her the fuckin’ handout. I don’t like that she’s even being talked about or doing something people are patting her on the fucking back for, or interviewing her, because she just offer us with absolutely nothing and if anything she is just someone to make us feel better about ourselves. I am sure her parents are proud because the only hope they had for her was to marry an old Jewish Doctor with no standards and a big ol’ nose, because they go for that kind of thing.
Speaking of Jewish doctors, I was at a bar last night and some dude was walking around with his stethoscope. It turned out he was a med student and it was his way of seducing girls, because doctors have a god complex and think we are all impressed that they are studying medicine. I thought that was some pretty weak game, but it fuckin’ worked, within 20 minutes of getting in the place, he was checking girls vitals and running gynecological exams in the bathroom, when I pulled him aside, to ask him if he was legit, he laughed and said that it was all a joke that was working out pretty fucking well.
I don’t like that Ashley Tisdale is giving us the sex eyes because she isn’t hot, it is actually pretty fucking offensive. If she really wanted to turn us on, she would have never left the house, or maybe she would have pulled her hair in front of her face like she was Cousin It, or she’d rock a Richard Nixon mask while running around screaming that she’s not a crook naked, or something that could at least let us focus on her vagina for a couple of minuts and forget what it’s attached to.
It’s like the typical ugly chick who doesn’t know she’s ugly because she hangs with girls who are uglier than her and her entourage always tell her how good looking sh eis and ends up living in an imaginary fantasy world, where all the boys want her and not her friends and she develops the self confidence to not kill herself or just embrace the fact that she’s ugly and becoming a comedian, because that’s what ugly people in Hollywood are supposed to do. Playing this sex symbol to 13 year olds is just going to fuck up the system, making boys think this is hot, leading to ugly girls getting boyfriends when they are supposed to stay at home friday nights knitting with their moms a few years down the road or even worse….homosexuality.
On a side note, happy Yom Kippur to Ashley Tisdale and all the Jews out there. The man on the radio just let me know that you all have to fast. Good luck with that and remember it’s a small price to pay for legal, medical and entertainment careers that pay lots of money, so it’s worth the struggle, despite the whining I am sure all your Jew houses are going to hear tonight, you know whimpers about how hungry you are and how light headed you are and how you think you’re going to die if you don’t get a fucking bagel in you, so for that struggle, I’d like to dedicate this post to all of yous jews.
How the fuck did Maggie Gyllenhaal ever make it into acting. She looks more like the weird girl who doesn’t shower and who ends up becoming a lonely librarian because books don’t judge her and books are always there for her when she needs them. She does not look like someone who could be the object of anyone’s desire in a movie, or in real life. She doesn’t look like a leading lady or like someone I’d even want to see on the fuckin’ screen and I guess it takes a whole lot of movie magic to make her someone the general public can stomach, like it took a whole lot of deep throat magic to get her where she is today, not because saying ugly girls suck dick to the top is a cliche, but because all girls suck dick to get to the top, the ugly ones just suck a little fucking harder…….
So….she’s still ugly…but that vitiligo shit stain discoloration on her arm is fucking hot, but I just like girls with disorders because they are easier to boss around. Despite popular belief that I hate ugly girls, I actually always defend them by saying they all have at least one nice attribute, whether it is hot tits, or a hot ass, or that they are skinny, or have nice eyes, or a nice pussy, you just have to look a little past the package as a whole. Just the other day I saw an ugly girl on the bus reading a magazine minding her own business and I decided to let her know that despite being ugly, she had great teeth and great teeth can take you a long way. I was pretty offended when she told me to fuck myself, but I guess some ugly girls have an ugly personality to match, or maybe I offended her by letting her know I knew she was ugly, but I figured by leaving the house that day, she already accepted that. So despite Ashley Tisdale’s hot skin disorder, she’s still ugly and that concludes the Ashley Tisday Ugly Watch of the Day.
In case you were concerned, alarmed or still wondering…Ashley Tisdale is still ugly. So you can go on with your day, like Ashley Tisdale goes on with her day, rockin’ her weak chin that makes her look like she’s swallowing her face and her big deviated septum nose that I thought she got sorted out.
It reminds me of this rich girl I used to tease about having a weak chin a few years ago, she would call me fat and disgusting and I’d mock her by sucking my chin in saying letting her know that he dis would be a lot more hurtful if I didn’t know what you looked like and after 6 months of the back and forth, I was still fat and disgusting only a little bit closer to suicide and she went and got a chin implant. Last I heard she’s engaged, pregnant and the owner of a beautiful condo and her career is really taking off and I am still fat and disgusting and a little bit closer to suicide. Yes…It sucks to be me but it sucks harder to be Ashley Tisdale, because I wouldn’t give my chin up for all the money, fame and pussy in the world, it just means too much to me.
Ashley Tisdale is just one of those girls that no matter how hard she tries to look good, she just doesn’t pull it off. Like the time my Albino neighbor put on some self tanning cream, lipstick and a wig and looked like something out of a horror movie and not one of those Hollywood Actresses she was aiming for, or the time this Italian dude who was tired of seeing me down on my luck encouraged me to go out there and do something I’ve always wanted to do and to do it in a nice Italian suit he was selling, I had some extra money at the time and was feeling pretty desperate and he convinced me that this would change my life, so I slicked my hair back, put on the suit he just sold me and walked to my nearest subway station, got on the train and pulled my dick out to both unsuspecting college girls and girls coming home from the office and he was right, it really made a difference in all of our lives and I looked fuckin’ classy being my sleazy self, but was still my sleazy self… or like the Jewish girl I knew got a nose job for a deviated septum, which is Jew code for “I don’t like my nose and want to change it because I am tired of looking like a Jewish monster coming to steal your soul and do your taxes” and that girl was Ashley Tisdale, sure she’s not actually a Jewish girl I know, but close enough considering I live my life vicariously through the internet.
Kirsten Dunst despite being pretty fresh out of rehab looks like she’s drunk as she leaves the club, at least I hope she is drunk because it would really be the only acceptable explanation for her make-up-less face lookin as sloppy as it does. I’ve met my fair share of drunk chicks, with half-closed eyes and sloppy double chins begging for another drink, only to realize I was lying when I told them I had a bottle of booze back at my house and leaving at my request to entertain ourselves by her giving me a blowjob since we’re out of booze, and I don’t really hate them for it, I just kinda figure it has to do with my shitty game, and leads to disappointment in myself, but not as much disappointment in myself as when I think back to the era when I found Kirsten Dunst hot with her big tits on her small frame, when I look back on that shit now, I have no choice but to ask myself whether I was gay or not for falling into her hard nippled, dirty haired trap that the media was feeding me. Lookin at her now makes me wonder how bitch even had a career, it’s one of those “this isn’t the girl I married” situation that dawns 10 years and 3 kids after you ruined your once hot bodied wife, only a little less personal since Kirsten Dunst is just nothing but a girl on screen for me, and I guess that’s way easier to accept than the woman I committed my life to…enjoy….
I don’t like that Rumer Willis is making sex faces at me. It reminds me of all those times I’ve been forced to have sex with disgusting girls because they were just too into getting fucked and I had no capacity to say no.
Rumer Willis is one ugly girl. I don’t care how blue she makes her eyes, shit won’t distract me from the fact that Demi Moore was on hard drugs while she was pregnant and has invested a lot of money in paying off People Magazine to name her top 100 Beautiful People and producers to cast her in their shitty straight to DVD movies about an ex-playmate becoming a sorority girl……
I guess what it comes down to is how much she’s paying this Luke Perry Mother Fucker to put his arm around her, I figure he’s either a co-star in the movie or someone who is willing to put their dignity aside for a little exposure, but either way the thought of anyone fuckin’ her kinda confuses me and makes for something I’d definitely watch, because I’ve done worse, but definitely wouldn’t enjoy watching. It’d be like a 2 Girls 1 Cup situation, but less sexy.
On a side note, Ashton Kutcher still has mommy issues and an old lady fetish and is still having sex with Demi Moore because he can’t figure out how to escape her controlling weathered hand and plastic surgeried grasp…..and he is supporting his stepdaughter by going to her event because I guess they are proud that she hasn’t killed herself yet, something they’ve all been expecting her to do since the first time she saw a mirror. I like to support my stepdaughter differnently, like by walking in on her when she takes a shower to tell her she has hot tits I want to suck to boost her self-esteem.
The thing I hate about Courtnenay Semel isn’t the fact that she spells her name obnoxiously and something I hate is when parents give their kids a normal name but spell it stupid, it’s not the fact that she is an ugly jew who looks like the Grinch who stole Christmas, not because she’s Jewish and Jews hate Christmas because they don’t get to join in the fun, or because I consider Lohan’s vagina to be a Christmas Miracle Semel stole from Penises everywhere, but the fact that she’s a spoiled rich piece of shit trying to get some airtime.
She is a busted up fame whore whose double sided dildo even turns her down for sex because of how nasty she is. She’s just trying to get attention because her enitre life her dad, the ex-CEO of Yahoo! was too busy losing out to Google to give her the love and attention and in his defense, if I produced something that looks like this, I wouldn’t give her much attention and probably would have put her up for adoption pretending I had nothing to do with this mess.
Now she’s attaching herself to various celebrities and other rich kids and releasing personal information so people finally notice her and pay attention to her as this high profile dyke and that’s probably the reason her dad who has made over $500 million at Yahoo! and has gone so far as to donate $25 million to UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute for behaviorial issues in efforts to sweep shit under the rug and get a tax credit in the process.
Either way, I am surprised people even hang out with her let alone lickin’ whatever the fuck she’s got hiding in her expensive rich kid underwear and here she is with Tila Tequila, her latest vagina who is probably only with her for personal gain and access to more of that internet coverage that made her famous in the first place, but that’s just because Tila Tequila is a whore.
UPDATE - COURTENAY SEMEL GOT ARRESTED AFTER THIS PICS WERE TAKEN BECAUSE SHE’S CRAZY
Semel went out to Pure at Caesars with Vegas showman Jeff Beacher - and proceeded to “go nuts,” a spy said. “Courtenay got so drunk she was falling down.
Security asked her to leave, but she refused.” Semel finally left, but on her way out there was an altercation with a security guard. “She was arrested and spent the night in jail,” a Semel pal confirmed. “And she lost her phone.”
There’s a reason why you haven’t heard much about Donald Trumps daughter Tiffany, and that is because he keeps her hidden and a secret because she’s fucking ugly. Trump likes to equate his name to excellence and luxury and prestige but instead fate has brought him something to brand that represents birth defects, bad genetics and a busted down fucking face.
It’s kinda funny that a cocksucker like Trump who has probably fucked over numerous people because he is a true believer that business is business and it’s nothing personal would get struck by Karma and his sperm would create this monster of a girl but I guess that’s just how the world works. The worst thing about this is that the worst thing about her probably isn’t even her face, because if she’s anything like other rich girls, she’s proababy a cunt and actually thinks she’s got it going on in typical rich kid delusion as she rides her prize winning horses, wears her designer clothes and travels to places of luxury while taking time off her very high society education to make a point of treating everyone around her like they are shit.
I almost felt bad ripping into this girl, because she’s a teenager and the last thing she needs to read about on the interenet is how weird her face is, and how ugly she is, you know, giving her a complex and landing her in some kind of therapy session or on some kind of meds or into a life a many random sexual encounters to make her feel like she has some value, but then I realize that ripping into people is what I do and business is business, nothing personal.
Heidi Montag doesn’t realize that she’s fucking ugly and that the only thing she should be taking off of her is her top so that she can use it to cover up her scary fucking face, but instead she’s decided to take off some make-up and try to give us a taste a more natural Montag and all I know is that it tastes like shit.
Whoever told her that she’s a natural beauty needs to be issued a restraining order to not get within 50 yards of any farm animals, and Heidi needs to be given a restraining order to not be allowed within 50 yards of any living creature unless she’s wearing a fucking mask, because she’s ugly.
Here’s ugly duckling Ali Lohan out and about wherever the fuck she is. I am not sure why I am posting it, but she’s ugly. It reminds me of this thin-lipped long chinned lesbian who used to play Rugby and who I always lost to in beer chugging contests at one of the local bars I used to frequent. I never really got over that loss, but the real thing I never got over was that the thin-lipped long chinned rugby playing lesbian wasn’t actually a lesbian and would constantly have dirty man sex with guys she met at the same bar I used to frequent. I never could grasp how a dude could fuck a chick who looked like a dude and acted like a dude as she burped, farted and challenged us to arm wrestling matches like some kind of tomboy who was more boy than the average tomboy , but I guess guys have no standards and like a chick they can kick it with. I am not one of those guys. I remember laughing in her face this day I saw her wearing a dress and she punched me in the face. I bled and she jumped on the table and roared like some kind of wrestler…a wrestler who looked a lot like Ali Lohan.
The problem is the world is that people can never agree on anything. If everyone agreed on everything, there’d be no fights, there’d be no differences, there’d be no hate, and despite that being boring as fuck at least I’d be able to drive the fact that Hayden Panettiere is not fuckin’ hot down all your fuckin’ throats, because my new pet peeve is that bitch is being seen as some kind of sex symbol, when she should be doin’ backflips at the local carnival or workin’ stunts on a Japanese Game Show…
The weirdest shit for me is when I see a hot girl and turn to my friend and point her out, not because having a friend is pretty unheard of, which it is, but because dude never agrees with my choices. Some dudes like blondes, some like brunettes, some like young, some like old, some like chubby with fat titties, some like skinny, some like short and some like tall, some like anything they can get their dicks in, some only like supermodels and can’t get it up for table scraps but never get supermodels, so spend a lot of time jerking off all over themselves.
But I have faith and feel like we should all be able to agree that Hayden is about as attractive as the bucket of shit we had lying around my apartment when our toilet broke and my wife refused to take shit out to dump in the alley until it was overflowing….it’s nice to see stalky/stumpy bitches getting work, but constantly telling them how hot they are isn’t positive affirmation, it’s lies and the equivalent of telling a retard he’s a genius because he figured out that smashing his helmeted head against the wall til he bleeds isn’t as fun as he originally thought it was and went back to hitting rocks together like he’s supposed to. Retards are always good times.
