Eminem is back and I am just as happy as his white suburban wrestling watching fans because I think dude’s a talent. This video is like that video he did about Fred Durst/Moby/Christina Aguilera shit, only he’s got a really fucking weird accent. He disses Kardashian, Jessican Simpson, Sam Ronson, Ellen, Britney Spears, I don’t dig the song, but it’s gonna be big, at least the album is going to be, even if seems more like a comedy album, maybe it’ll grow on me, I do dig his pink Alf Shirt though, that shit is gold.
So Beyonce’ baby momma of a sister Solange hs a new video called T.O.N.Y. I didn’t really listen to the lyrics, because I am hung over and not in the mood to get raped, but I guess it’s about a one night stand that she had where she was a naughty girl who didn’t use a condom which could be the truth behind her own pregnancy, that landed her shotgun married 7 months before her baby was born and I am posting it because she’s sitting on the toilet and I like seeing girls on the toilet, unless they are taking big nasty shits and are my wife and need my help cleaning up, but for the most part seeing a girl peeing or taking a pregnancy test gets me excited because it makes me think I am still virile and that they have vaginas, not that I ever had sex with Solange, unless you count watching the video with my limp dick in my hand sex, not because I find her hot, but because I got nothin’ else goin on today and I like to be reminded of how pathetic I am….
So my internet didn’t work when I woke up this morning after a night of drinking and I figured it was a message from God to take some time for myself because I just work way too hard, then I realized that I barely work, what I do is my way to waste my free time, I just happen to have a lot of it, so it seems like I am always online being productive, I am online all the time, but I am never productive, I just have nothin’ better to do. It also turns out that there is no God, my neighbor just didn’t pay for his internet I’ve been stealing, so I went over to give him shit about it, he made a few calls, and now I’m back.
In my time off, I decided to go on a walk, I came across a sign that was promoting some moving sale at someone’s house near by. It said there was designer clothes, jewelry, Luis Vuitton products and all this other bootleg shit, so I figured I’d take my cracked out self by to pick up some Luis Vuitton luggage on discount, so I could turn around and sell that shit for a profit, like I was Obama livin’ in the Ghetto, sellin’ crack, but when I got there all they had was a couple of picnic baskets, a pair of skis from the 80s and 2 bibles. It was a bust….
Just like this new Kanye West video that premiered earlier today….
