I was at a house party on the weekend with a friend of mine and we were outside on the patio when this loser came up to us. He didn’t say anything at first. He just stood there listening to our conversation, staring blankly. After about 3 minutes of this, there was a break in our conversation and a moment of silence. I guess jackass thought he would use this as his “in” to start talking to us and of all things he could say, blurted out “So, you have 2 beers, huh?” pointing at the beer I had in each hand.

I looked at my friend, and my friend looked at me, and he just stood there very please with himself, with a look on his face that suggested he actually thought this introduction to our conversation was going to get him some pussy. Now generally I try not to be a bitch when it comes to guys coming up to me, but in this case, I couldnt help myself and i laughed in his face. I know not all of you are Don Juan, and I will pretty much sleep with anyone who is a 6/10 or above, but even I like there to be a little effort in the initial pick up sometimes. Why not just say “So, I see your wearing shoes.” or “Hey, you have hair, I like that in a women.” You get the point. I honestly would have been more receptive to “Nice shirt, wanna fuck?”

One more example of why guys like you will be virgins until you die, or until you finally breakdown and pay a whore with the money you have been saving in your piggy bank, which ever comes first.

Here’s some pics from the Teen Choice awards. Virgin or not, none of these girls will ever sleep with you, ever. And yeah, some of these chicks are borderline Jail Bait, but you are a Perv and are into that type of thing.

Aimee Teegarden

Audrina Partridge

Jessica Alba

Megan Fox

Sophia Bush

Vanessa Hudgens