Some of you may know that I had a ass scare a few weeks ago where I had some weird irritable bowel situation that I’d rather not discuss. I had to go to the doctor for some follow up tests this morning, so not only did I not get to drink last night, but I also had to fast for 12 hours for the blood tests and while in the Doctor’s office, who was checking his ebay auctions while asking me questions about my stomach’s condition, the running off on a tangent about how he bought his Benz on ebay from someone in Texas and how great people in Texas are, he made me turn over and face the wall and pulled down my pants and shoved his finger in me. I was a little uncomfortable looking him in the eye and finishing the conversation off after he raped me like that, it was kinda hard to pretend shit didn’t just happen, I just hope he was wearing a rubber glove. I would have liked a little more warning and I still have lube in my ass and I’m walking a little different than I have in the past because I am a new man, not a new man that I like or that is going to embrace this new erogenous zone, because I am someone who never liked anal play, not even when getting a blowjob from a really whore, so it was a pretty devastating morning.

I saw this facebook status on Nick Simmons wall, and I feel like I can relate. Only instead of cock. It’s my ass. It’s hurting. I feel like all those girls I’ve done this to and it turns out that karma is a fucking bitch.

I was fucking around on Facebook last night and came across DJ AM’s facebook page, because up until today we are still Facebook friends, something I assume will change when he realizes I am an asshole.

On his wall was a life changing message from Brooke Burns. It read:

Just wanna say…you still have alot to do this lifetime. Never forget….

I could be wrong, but I think she’s referring to her vagina. Thanks Brooke Burns, did you get those words of wisdom from googling “what to tell someone who nearly died”, you stupid cunt. Did you feel obligated to leave your mark on his facebook because your last name is what he’s going to be dealing with the rest of his life. Did reports about Burns on his face give you something to masturbate to? Sometimes it is better to keep your opinions to yourself, or maybe use the private message option instead on embarrassing your dumb cunt self.

Here she is in some old Bikini Photoshoot doing what she’s good at and that’s not opening her stupid mouth or typing stupid shit on the internet, but not stupid enough shit to keep you profile public or to add me as a friend so that I can stalk her shit. I am offended.