I thought Audrina was a retard, you know dumb as fucking shit, but at least she realizes that her body is all she has going for her and that it won’t last forever so she better work that fucking thing out as hard as she can to overstay her welcome just a little bit longer and the sad thing about this is that she’s got more to offer the world than I do, mainly because she has a pussy and a dream, usually a good combination to get things done and here are pictures of her in tight pants that show off where her legs end and that money making pussy of hers starts.

Pics via INF
And Pics via Bauer
And Pics via Fame

If you’re wondering how Hilary Duff’s been staying in good enough shape to put up with the Hockey Team gangbangs her boyfriend puts her through, you know because she’s in love with him and understands that as a jock, he has obligations to his team, to build a sense of family in sharing everything he has with them, she’s a real trooper and here she is in some gym clothes leaving the gym where she spend the better part of two hours doing squats to stretch her asshole out.

Fergie’s not the rock hard body she used to be. I call this the marriage workout. She can finally kick back and take it easy and tell her husband that she was out exercising, meanwhile she’s just planning on gaining enough weight for her husband to regret ever marrying her.

Maybe this low intensity working out, is because her heart is so wrecked from her meth addiction, but I have a feeling that whole meth addiction was bullshit, because I know meth addicts and the last thing I expect out of them is a successful music career and happy, rich, full life, I just expect the scabs and premature death. Maybe Fergie knew someone who did meth and she smoked a hit once but didn’t inhale, but no meth addicts succeed, no matter how many days they stay up jacked and ready to work….because their idea of work is painting their one room apartment black and similar insanity.

Either way, she doesn’t look hot, but she’s hotter than my wife, so I’ll post it.

Kim Kardashian played make-belief yesterday when escorting her boyfriend to the gym. This was probably the first time this pig made it passed the front door because every other time she tried to go, she’d end up at the ice cream shop, but I guess since it’s the off season and she’s actually gotta spend time with her athlete boyfriend, she’s got no choice. The good news though is that he just makes Kim Kardashian stand 10 feet in front of the treadmill and bend over a little in her spandex, because it makes him run at her faster, since that shit is addictive to black men and he wants to mount her like they were an exhibit at the fucking zoo.

BONUS – Some Pics of Her Lookin’ At Her Ass after her rough workout.

You always see Kim Kardashian out in work out gear, you’d think she was trying to convince herself that if she puts on the clothes she’s halfway there to actually breaking a fucking sweat and getting her dumpy fucking body into some shape. Who knows, maybe on her intentions are legit and on her way to the gym, you know after telling herself that “today is the day”, she just gets sidetracked when she sees an Asian manicure place and by the time they are done on her mangled feet, it’s too late to work out, I mean especially since you don’t want to ruin the pedicure in her gym shoes, so she goes out for ice cream instead. You can’t really blame her for getting poor Asian women up on her shit and grinding her toe nails down, because she’s tried to do it herself but she just can’t seem to reach her feet, her gut gets in the fucking way.

Either way, she should probably be the one tending to a challenging foot, because god knows she needs the cardio.

Reese Witherspoon is constantly out fighting her her obvious fate as a fat Southern mom and grandma, by the looks of these pictures of her working out, her ass is winning. Kinda like her vagina won in the fight to lock Ryan Phillippe down by getting pregnant during a drunken hook up while on the Cruel Intentions set, but they aren’t together now, and either is her new boyfriend and his one true love Heath Ledger, so I guess things that aren’t meant to be just find a way to not be, and soon she’ll be trading in these workout pants in for a pair of elastic band jeans from the plus sized store but not to work out in, just to walk around in, because that’s what happens when they don’t make clothes in your size. Just ask my wife..

I am pretty sure these are old, but they were sent into me and I had no choice but to post them because her ass looks amazing and they remind me of some chick that I just saw walking with her annoying 15 year old son. I assume that she was a trophy wife who has some really rich husband and spends her days at the gym fucking the fitness trainer, at the hair salon talking to her fag stylist about giving blowjobs, at the day spa yelling at her masseuse about rubbing her down harder, at home yelling at the maid about cleaning better and at the cook about using more low-fat ingredients because the shit he’s cooking doesn’t fit in with the South Beach Diet her nutritionist put her on. The benefit of making a life out of being vain and self absorbed and superficial was that her ass was probably one of the most solid asses I’d ever seen and I tried to let her son know that he should be jerking off to her while she’s out at the pool and not trying to land blowjobs at his Jewish summer camp because she is that good.

When I finally made eye contact with the kid, I pointed to his moms ass and gave him the thumbs up hand signal. He just gave me the finger and went back to his phone conversation. I guess he hears about how hot she is everytime his friends tell him how bad they want to fuck her, or how they end up hanging out with her instead of him anytime they go over. The reality is that she is probably the only reason he has friends.

So seeing Nicolette Sheridan’s fit ass is just an extension of this celebration of bitches in their 40s who still have it going on enough for you to rub one out to, even though your desperation leaves you rubbing one out to pretty much anything with a vagina, including your fat neighbor who likes to garden in short shorts…