I went to a restaurant called Garde Manager tonight with a girl. We were drinking innocently for a good hour, watching the gang of idiots file in and fill the place up….Then Jake Gyllanhaal walked in with a few chubby girls…..and everyone went nuts….Girls were screaming his name and he was basking in all the attention. You could tell dude thought he was god’s gift to the world…….They took over a table, everyone sucked up to him and he was the hero of the night…every one validated his celebrity.

He danced like on the bench of his table loving the attention and was throwing his arms in the air like he owned the world….I got annoyed….I couldn’t handle this ego doing his dance while acting like he was God’s gift to the world, so I decided to ask him a question….I walked up to his booth and asked the chubby girl he was making out with:

Hey isn’t that the guy who kissed Heath Ledger….

An innocent comment….that apparently he couldn’t take…so he took his acting class lessons seriously as he started screaming at chanelled the birthday he didn’t get the red bike-in my face like a role he rehearsed…he started throwing his hands in the air all while saying things like “get the fuck out here” and “I will break you” flailing his arms around like he meant business….but it was really a fucking joke…

I laughed but the bouncers didn’t so I got escorted out after I had to pay my bill…the girl I was with was stuck inside where Gyllanhaal decided to take out his anger on her….by pushing her into the table at least 10 times before his crew held him back…cuz clearly beats girls….

Maybe these people aren’t used to being teased and everyone around them sucks up to them…so here he was shoving her against the table, hurting her, making her cry before his crew of handlers pulled him off her…

That is unacceptable….

He pretty much hit a girl….He bullied a girl…for no reason other than something I said hurt his ego, or made him go nuts, made him think he should show the world how tough he was, or whatever lie he was pulling, since if he was actually Heath Ledger’s friend, he probably would have been there for him in his low point…..save your lies and fabricated sincerity for the people who already suck up to you…the rest of us know you’re nothing but a woman beating bubble boy…..

I’m no psychologist…but I will say that maybe dude is a homosexual…maybe he hangs with fat girls to make him feel important….maybe he beats up cute girls cuz he hates women….all while giving him security….

He is an actor. He doesn’t own the world. He is in Montreal for a few weeks…but for some reason montreal thinks he is above the law. They think he should be treated like a queen but really, when I see a dude hit a girl or shove a girl, I know he’s nothing but trash….but this is Real Life….This is not a movie….he should not be able to get away with this ridiculousness.

The Restaurant was called Garde Manger. Don’t go there if you are ever in the city. They support guys who are in movies who shove women and turn around and throw out those women…

Jake Gyllanhaal has no respect. He is not what you see in movies. He is an ego with a horrible attitude and he hurts women because he gets upset and throws fits.

Garde Manger, the restaurant that kicked us out is hanging onto their reputation, trying to stay cool, pretending they are legit, while disrespecting their patrons….their bouncers kicked me the fuck out to impress Jake Gyllenhall even though he shoved a woman….

Whether Gyllanhaal killed Australian actors by not stopping them from using drugs or not, cuz they were preoccupied with themselves he still has no right hurting an innocent girl…it is unacceptable and it needs to get out there…tell your friends…Jake Gyllanhaal hurt a girl…..he is not a man…he is a sick, drugged up, insecure celebrity who isn’t even important or relevant in the world…..

The craziest thing was that his crew was holding him back…..as he got rough with the girl after he lost his shit….It’s like some switch went off and he went nuts….very unstable….

She won’t press charges, because she’s not like that..but he did shove her, hurt her and made her cry….

More soon….

Update – I don’t have pics but I did see him make out with a fat girl. I love how celebs are above the law and can do whatever they want. What I said only offended him 45 seconds after he laughed and decided to play angry. Gay cowboys are pussies. But more importantly the restaurant owes me 200 dollars.

Trust me it was amazing…until I was kicked out and the girl I was with got attacked for my amazing joke! Girls shouldn’t get beat up especially by guys who bully girls…I am not the emo fag, gyllenhaal is…I have never seen someone act like such a baby ever.

What it comes down to is Sticks and stones will break my bones but Heath ledger jokes will always hurt Jake Gyllenhaal…enough to shove a girl hard enough to make her cry…

As long as you think gay sex is beautiful.

See I was a young boy in an orphanage in Mexico and I saw some pretty homo shit go down. Nothing serious happened to me but I knew at a young age religion was fucked, only because shit was corrupted by perverts, ex-cons, drug addicts, homeless and homosexuals who decided to become priests when they couldn’t find their way in normal society…..

Shit was population control, it is dated, uninteresting and unrealistic….It didn’t evolve with society and the lessons in it may be nice and wholesome and the fear that living a bad life may send you to hell is alright when you want people to self-govern…but when you see a priest or “ambassador of god”, who spent his life shoving the lessons down people’s throats, committed to the cause, while having gay sex with a 19 year old, you gotta wonder how legit the whole thing is….and I’m going with not very legit…

That’s not to say to not believe in whatever you believe in, don’t get bitter and think there is no God, don’t stop your little sex cult you’re creating in your neighborhood, cuz I don’t care what you believe I jut care when your religious idios are hypocrites…but I suggest you don’t go visit your priest afterhours and let him trick you into sucking on his old weathered dick for Jesus or some shit…

No this is not a gay site, but apparently when shit is sent from God it makes the sex not gay, but instead Holy….and I just find it a funny story…

There was an era when nude pics would get everyone excited about celebrities. Back when Paris and Lindsay and Britney were all showing their vaginas in various situations that made this celebrity bullshit almost entertaining to watch…it was like the scandals were actually scandalous…but then something happened where everyone stopped caring, we all got desensitized and celebrities became reality stars and accessible on Facebook and Twitter and the lovelty wore the fuck off…leaving idiots like me with sites no one cares about, with memories of the day I got a lawyers letter for posting this teenage Disney stars muff, telling war stories in bars, when everyone else has forgot the war…it’s gonna be time to move on soon…I just have no where to go….at least if I got pics of naked chicks wanting fame it’d be worth going on…but that never happens…so everyday is just a miserable reminder….RIP celebrity scandals…you don’t exist anymore and Vanessa Hudgens is our reminder of the last we care about….and here she is showing off her little slutty body, in a slutty aninmal print dress, making slutty bedroom eyes on her slutty immigrant face at an event that is probably not even worth mentioning…cuz they are all bullshit…maybe I’m just depressed that I’m not drunk right now…Let’s forget this emo shit ever happened….

Pics via Bauer

I guess it’s safe to say that the Fat Victoria’s Secret model has been put on suspension, because I am pretty sure walking around with a bag that isn’t a Victoria’s Secret bag is in the Victoria’s Secret contract next to we will never see your family if you don’t give us your fucking life…..and because she’s not as fat as she was when they were giving her warning to stop eating and she pretended it was a thyroid problem, which it probably was if a thyroid problem is code of eating as much donuts as I can in one sitting….but she still looks a lot like a monster and sometimes that’s not a bad thing like when you’re walking down dark alleys and come across 4 black dudes in baggy pants, or on halloween when you don’t feel like dressing up.

Pics via Bauer

Sports Illustrated Cover Girl Broolyn Decker is in the new Adam Sandler movie with the likes of Jennifer Aniston, Nicole Kidman and Heid Montag….meaning she’s really taken her new title and made it work for her, I mean before her husband Andy Roddick and his sports agent forced the Sports magazine to take her off the inside pages, and make her feel like she’s special, like the best of all the other girls…she was just following him from tournament to tournament and getting the odd job, but now she gets to be in an Adam Sandler movie, something that would have only been cool if this was 1994 and you were 14 years old…cuz in the last 16 years we’ve collectively realized his stupid voices just aren’t funny…

But at least she’s got good tits….

Pics via Bauer

I shouldn’t call this girl a groupie, I mean Miceky Rourke seems pretty cool and I’m sure his plastic face has never had an issue getting pussy, but I do think her lack of interest while talking on her phone with her friend in her native Russian that Rourke doesn’t understand goes a little something like this….”Oh my god, I met Mickey Rourke last night….He’s the guy from the movie the Wrestler…I told you there were famous people everywhere in America…of course I fucked him…yeah he’s alright he just looks in the mirror a lot…I don’t know how I should get him to marry me…see if he marries me I will be at all the events and he has friends who can get me work so that I can live the American dream…I know I am too hot for him…but seriously he won an Oscar…That’s like winning three coupons for rationed bread back home”…..if you know what I mean….

Pics via Bauer

Here is a scene from some movie I’ve never heard of called Flick’s Chicks…that’s probably not a real movie that will ever be seen but it does have tits in it….and here’s the “synopsis” if you like backstory to your tit videos….

A gay single mother invites five women to spend the weekend at a secluded beach house in a creative bid to find the perfect mate. Flick has had it with men, and now she’s eager to try her luck with a woman. But Flick isn’t used to the dating scene, and can’t quite settle on a method for finding the perfect mate. Unable to choose between five potential partners, Flick invites them all out for a weekend sleepover, during which time they’ll get to know her, and her 10 year old daughter Roxy. Trouble is, Flick didn’t inform the girls they’d all be staying at the beach house at the same time. Though tensions run high the first day, it doesn’t take long for everyone to settle in, and true love to blossom.

Sounds pretty gay. The naked tits are some chick named Emily Linstrom who I’ve never heard of, kinda like she’s never heard of a gym…but maybe feminine natural beauty is the way of the future….but I doubt it…that’ shits for pinup girls who are expected to be fat…cuz skinny chicks are too busy being skinny….

On a side note, synopsis is a pretty stupid word…

The first Craigslist deal of the day is a father selling his kid for $5,000. Apparently the kid doesn’t fuss and if he does all you have to do is shove the fucker in the closet. I can only assume this is a joke that made the news becuase the news are idiots but it’s still funny…

But in more interesting deals on Craigslist…..here’s a husband selling his wife for sex on Craigslist because sometimes getting paid to let someone fuck your wife you don’t want to fuck anymore and force her to do it if she fights by threatening your kids makes sense…unfortunately the laws are uptight and call it prostitution and kidnapping even if it’s just for sexual fetsihes, the recession but most importantly…FUN…

I’ve been watching the Blind Side trailer for the last hour….I am getting a huge kick out of this whole thing…It seems like girls you meet at bars don’t really give a fuck about the humor in all this, they all sympathize with Sandra Bullock, like she represents them or something, while she’s just some pig celebrity who is probably really into herself, despite what bullshit her PR people tell her to say in interviews. Sure, it’s nice to believe she’s human and that this is the same situation as if it happened to the nice girl down the street or your sister, but it’s not…it’s all bullshit…really funny bullshit…especially since this Bombshell girl looks like someone insane, cuz anyone with a forehead tattoo and a swastika tattoo and White Power tattoos always look like they are one meth hit away from shooting the local park the black kids play at..

I do hate that this trash is getting famous and everyone is talking about her and her shitty face and body and wish it ended, but I guess molested girls withs serious baggage who were raised AMISH always have a place in my heart….because they are so fucking obvious…and try so fucking hard to fit…by going one step too far…proven by this piece of shit garbage…with shitty fake tits….

Britney Spears was out shopping in a ridiculous outfit and I don’t think she was wearing a bra, because her nipples that are positioned great for midgets to suck on, seem to be exposed, but I’m too lazy to look, I just figure anyone dressed like a court jesters is about to lose her fucking shit again and the whole world will get another Britney Spears media takeover…I figured she’s already shaved her head for us, maybe this time she’ll shave her pussy in some manic rage for us, but I guess that’s just wishful thinking and the liklihood of her next episode being hot is really unlikely and I’ve got my money on her taking a shit in public, jumping off a bridge, or something equally funny but not so easy to jerk off to, but then again, since bitch turned 18 she hasn’t been so easy to jerk off to….

Either way, here are some pics of her lookin like she’s a bout to blow the fuck up in some wild bloomers you’d expect to find on your grandmother back in 1890…something that may bring back fond memories of childhood masturbation…if you’re 70.

Pics via Fame

The only thing hot about pregnancy is that it makes tits milk filled for a little while. I guess that’s the logic husbands use when they try to fuck their post pregnant wife and her newly stretched out pussy in a “hey at least she’s got tits” despite the other 30 pounds she’s gained and won’t lose but will blame you for every time you fight or she tries to squeeze into her wedding dress only to be reminded of her new mom body….which usually happens well after her milk has dried up and her tits are like empty grocery bags in the wind…and the whole thing is depressing but not as despressing as Ellen Pompeo’s haggard face…

Pics via Fame

I do a little thing here called the Ashley Tisdale Ugly Watch and it was inspired from when I saw her on TV getting an award for being a starlet of the year for some MTV shit because I got mad. It was like a bitch who was destined to be the annoying girl in your math class, somehow got confused along the way and instead of working towards her law degree or her MBA, she got mixed up in Hollywood, despite having a face for Accountring….so I figured I had no choice but to remind the public, and by public I mean on reader I have, that this bitch may be worth a fuck at the office Christmas party after a few too many drinks, but she’s not worth jerking off, even if she plays a 14 year old in the movies….and if you look close enough you’ll notice she has the same hips as your younger brother, something most people don’t find hot, unless you’re a little league coach or priest.

So here she is with her asymmetrical face and the funniest thing in all this is that she’s already tried to alter her shit with plastic surgery and this is what she ended up with…it’s like seeing a dude get his shitbox car painted for 5000 dollars and shit comes back looking just as bad as it did before…

Pics via Fame

I want to start this off by saying that I am not posting these because I find them hot….I never find Kim Kardashian hot. I am posting them because I am amazed at how she has the ability to not look as fat as I know she is. I figure I don’t need to sit next to her on a plane, or attend her wedding to some black dude, to know bitch goes nuts on a pint of ice cream while spending the day in bed at least once a day, but whenever I see pictures of her, she’s got it all contained and under control. It’s like she manages to squeeze her gut into her tits and her thighs into her ass while never letting her SPANX or banadages that hold her in place be seen and the whole think makes no sense, but I can only assume she’s some kind of devil…or at least a waste of fucking space I can’t believe I am talking about….I just know these pictures are just as boring as this post….and I’d be regretting it – but luckily I don’t care that much….

Pics via Fame

These pictures look legit…you know, like they weren’t staged becuase when bitch went back to her hotel room and checked out her google alerts about her cunt self, cuz bitches with egos always google alert themeselves, she saw that her nipple was everywhere, so she spent the last two days negotiating with a photographer to do this photoshoot of her on the beach with her see thru tankini…or maybe she just got carried away when she saw cameras, felt the sand, heard the waves and in some kind of brainwashed robot, busted into her model routine, like it was 1990 and she was 20 years young, 30 lbs lighter and her body was 2 kids and many sexual relationships with married multi-millionaires tighter….if that makes sense, which knowing me it doesn’t….

I’m not complaining, I enjoy anyone trying to show off something they were good at 20 years later, like athletes and ex-prostitutes, even if it usually ends in injury, especially if I can see nipple….

Pics via Fame

Esquire got a hoit model in her underwear and I didn’t…so here’s their video and not my video because the only person I seem capable getting in their underwear is me and if that is a struggle and probably doesn’t smell or look this good……