It was actually pretty good. Shit had me freaked out, it tricked me a little but I’ve always liked the Scream Movies cuz they are clever and comical…even if the scariest thing in the whole thing is Neve Campbell’s face and Courtney Cox’s plastic surgery…..and the funniest thing is David Arquette’s horrible acting…
Hayden Panettiere flexed her tits and looked hot, Emma Roberts looked good in distress and this other bitch named Marielle Jaffe, who I knew was going to be one of the first to go because I had never heard of her, especially because she looked like a stripper pretty much confirming her purpose to the movie….
So when these slutty facebook pics of her, you know the kind you know she’s using to get this big break out there and secured, were emailed to me, I was happy to look at them, and even happy to share them to you, cuz I’m always down for new pussy eager to get famous posing half naked for her friends and family…cuz it’s just a matter of time before she starts doing it for the world.
She’s definitely one to look out for…cuz things are gonna get slutty…I can tell
I’ve never heard of this Jennifer Lawrence before, I just assumed she was related to Martin Lawrence and Joey Lawrence, riding her last name to the top, but it turns out she’s already got an Oscar nomination under her belt, and I’m just too ignorant and not into movies called Winter’s Bone, even though you think that’d be the first movie I bought tickets to, if I bought tickets, based on the name alone…and now she’s in something called The Beaver, another movie you’d think I’d see based on the name alone, leading me to think she’s onto some clever scam to get perverts into her based on the movie she’s been choosing… and luckily for you, you can see the outline of her beaver in a bikini for GQ….obvious tie in, but what the fuck do you want from me, all this celebrity shit is like a horrible re-run that never ends, different name, different pussy, same hustle….luckily it is half naked. It keeps me watching…
The fascinating thing about Michelle Hunziker is not her ridiculous 33 year old body, or the fact that she’s been in a bikini showing it off the last week, or even that no one really knows what she is or what she has done but yet we still notice her, or that she’s got some prison tattoos that you’d expect to find on the lesbian raping you with a beer bottle in a back alley….The fascinating thing about Michelle Hunziker is that she had her daughter when she was 19 and I fucking love teenage pregnancy, except when it is fat chicks who are pregnant because they no at a young age that it might just be their last chance to have a family cuz they are already bad and they are just gonna get worse, but for the most part, babies being ripped out of young slutty pussy that lets guys cum inside them for career advancement or the good life is porn to me….
Katie Price has been working really hard the last couple of days. I guess now that she’s getting divorced it’s time to pick up the fuckin’ pace, or make some money to pay off the leech who gets half of everything. I’ve posted a lot of pictures of her at the job and it’s been really exhausting, but probably not as exhausting as spending days laying around a beach in a bikini, half naked, in the sun, in luxury, while people snap off pics while carrying a fat set of tits around all day. Sure she’s useless and has a weird fuckin’ body, but I guess I do too.
Here are the pics….I am uninspired with her….pretty much exhausted her this week….
People find Kristen Bell hot. I think she’s boring. I think her decision in guys she dates proves the level of substance she really has. I’m not gonna be that guy who hates on the guy with the celebrity girl all these other dudes want to fuck, I’m just saying Dax seems like someone who’s ultimate prank or “punk’d” trick, the one that would make everyone happy, would be the one he drops on Kristen Bell, when she comes back from a jog and finds him hanging from a closet in her panties like he was David Carradine….
She’s in a bikini, so I can’t hate too hard on her…I just don’t have that in me….
Here’s David Caruso being a typical ginger with sensitive skin hanging out at the beach with his transparent skin in a T-shirt so that he doesn’t catch on fire, I have a deep rooted hatred for gingers, mainly because they scare the fuck out of me since they have super ginger strength from years of being left in the woods by their parents and fending for themselves because no one wants a ginger baby, but recently I’ve been obsessed with having sex with one, not David Caruso, but a female version, because I hear they get so excited someone is willing to get down with their red vaginas that they go crazy at the opportunity, and that’s good enough for me, I just have to find myself one.
I have no idea who the chick he is with is, but I am assuming she’s illegal.
Here’s some cunt from Lost with a stupid name that reminds me of bad poetry you’d expect some art fag who decided to chat you up in a bar one night, when all you wanted was to get fuckin’drunk alone, but instead have to listen to him cry about his life philosophy, like I give a fuck.
She is on the beach with her useless ass in useless shorts and a useless bikini top with useless tits, making out with the teen hearthrob Robert Pattinson, who hit big because of that piece of shit money making scam that is Twilight, which only makes sense, because she hit big because of that money making scam that is Lost.
Fuck all these motherfuckers and their bullshit. That’s all I gotta say about that.
Seeing Shauna Sand drinking wine with all her kids on the beach, including her boy toy she fucks, and who she isn’t decent enough to not introduce to her kids as their temporary new dad who mom pays off to fuck, because she’s a whore, untilsomeone hotter comes along, because you know this kind of bouncing from man to man won’t fuck them up over the course of their life, whether it turns them lesbian, or into sluts like their moms, or just weird, all ruin the fantasy I had of her being the perfect mother who puts her kids before her, and that makes me cry on the inside. I had such high hopes for this cunt….
I met a girl last night who I pretty much fell in love with. She could have been Swedish and she could have also been 15. I was sober and stuck in a crowd at some bullshit sidewalk event where they had a street locked down and that I randomly walked into thinkin’ I’d see some hot low level model pussy that I could seduce with promises of bigger fame and this girl, let’s call her Goddess, started asking the dude I was with about some bullshit. I chimed in a few times, but was too busy falling in love, and then her ugly friend made her walk away, never to be seen again. She traded numbers with a dude I know, but he wouldn’t give me the shit, so I guess it’s pretty much over for us, which is probably a good thing, because I’m pretty sure she was 15 and her stories of college were lies, but since I have this site, I figured I’d craigslist misconnection this shit, because actually doin’ a misconnection of craigslist is fuckin’ desperate and pussy behavior, like the fact that I didn’t follow her home to peer pressure her into loving me back by surprising her after she got ready and crawled into bed, while I worked my way into her bedroom.
So Urban Studies girl who may be 15, let’s go on an internet date, I’ll take you to a Youtube video, and to the rest of you, here’s some Swedish singer, cuz Swedish girls are known to be hot and busty, especially in their bikinis. Word.
I was with a girl with fake tits a couple of nights ago, she was fat and I had no idea she had implants, and when she volunteered the information, I just told her that I didn’t believe her and that fat chicks don’t get the shit, so she decided to pull the fucking thing out and you could tell that she had got the shit a long time ago, not because of the quality of the work she had done looked like it was straight from ’92, but because she pretty much grew into the shit over the years, and had a fat ass, gut and face to match the shit, and you know that at the time of the purchase she wasn’t pushing 200 lbs, otherwise, breast implants probably wouldn’t have been on her top procedures list, because fat chicks with implants doesn’t make sense and cellulite removal, breast reduction surgery and lipo do, even vagina reconstruction makes more sense than implants but that’s just because the only way to reach the magic spot on her fat body is thru large object insertion in their big fat vagina, like big black men, not that you have to be fat to have a big fat vagina as Katie Price so gracefully proves…..
Here are some more pictures of Katie Price she is in some staged photoshoot where a whole lot of people, including a topless chick and some dude simulating humpin her jumped in on, I posted yesterday from Ibiza, or as I like to call it, the land of opportunity….
Here she is not doin’ her photoshoot, but still in Ibiza….
Since I’m really jockin’this girl as hard as I can now that I know she’s single and going through a divorce, which is a pivotal time for me to work my way into a woman’s life because they are usually all sad and fucked up and just want someone to listen to them, I figured I’d post some more pictures of her and her tits, because posting pictures on a bitch is really the only way I know how to show her that I care, I’m pretty useless when it comes to getting off my couch and actually putting the effort in, not that any effort would get me into this girl’s soiled vagina, but posting this shit definitely does nothing for the cause. The good news is that the salt water doesn’t seem to be burning her open sores. Yay!
Here she is in some hot staged photoshoot, it’s only hot because I am in love with her personality or lack there of….
I didn’t expect the pictures of Tori Spelling in a bikini to be all that hot, I mean she is a Jewish girl afterall, and Jewish girls tend to have wonky heads, probably because of generations of inbreeding, unfortunately for Tori, she’s also got pretty wonky fuckin’ tits, probably because of a early 90s boob job her dad got her for her 16th birthday because she was born and raised in LA the pressure of being beautiful that was put on her by her trashy, superficial mother, when she wasn’t too busy drunk, medicated or fuckin the pool boy, made her feel like it was the only way, to counter balance her weird Jew face they couldn’t do much about, since face transplants weren’t technologically developed at the time, but the good news is that she’s rich. The other good news is that she’s not fat. So at least she’s got something goin’ for her….
Since seeing these pictures of Katie Price in a bikini in Ibiza, I’ve decided that I want to move in on her and be her new husband who doesn’t fuck her, not because I wouldn’t want to fuck her dirty AIDS pussy, you know I’m talkin’ straight from an African village pussy, but I figure she won’t want to fuck me, you know, since I’m disgusting, even though I’m quite charming in the way I write on the internet, I know this will be the kind of push I need to get the media coverage I really deserve and need to pump into my site. That’s why, I’ve spent the last 24 hours, dancing on my table while throwing napkins and poppin’/pumpin bottles over my head in a bootleg Ed Hardy shirt while listening to David Guetta, whoever the fuck that is, so be warned Jordan, soon I’ll be the nude guy in the pictures with you only I’ll be coming for you in them and not talking on my mobile phone while showin of my gay ankle tatoo.
