Remember when Elisha Cuthbert was this hot thing everyone wanted a piece of, I mean maybe because I live in her hometown, I heard a lot more buzz about her than the rest of the world, but she was definitely all over the fuckin’ place, dudes were jerking off to her in that Girl Next Door movie, and she had some Maxim covers, and now she’s pretty much a dumpy lookin’ nobody. The only thing upsetting in these pictures is that she hasn’t come back home so that when I get drunk in the same bar as her I can do my best to destroy the little self esteem she has, you know make her feel like she really sucks at life for not being a big star, and making her want to prove herself to me by sitting on my face. See, I don’t care that she’s got fatter and looks like the kind of girl who doesn’t shower always, doesn’t keep her bush maintained and who may or may not have a 3 week old tampon lodged in her pussy, just because it was too much work to take it out, I’m talking Toxic Shock Syndrom pussy motherfuckers.

Here she is doin’ nothing, something she’s pretty fucking good at lately.