I guess times are tough for Lindsay Lohan, not because she’s single and amazing, or because it’s the recession and she’s not getting much work and not because she only tipped this delivery dude $1.20, but because she’s hanging out with a piece of garbage pig of a girl Brittny Gastineau, who has a very deep rooted uselessness that includes a very sexy twitter relationship with me, I mean when she’s not too busy eating food, cuz foods her top priority, and that’s why she tipped the dude so low, because he’s actually on her payroll, cuz bringing food to her at various places is a full time fuckin’ job, otherwise like other fat chicks, she gets all hypoglycemic and a hypogylcemic fat chick is always a fuckin’ headache.

Here’s Lohan shopping with her own little hype man who wears his Lohan hoodie so people know who they’re dealing with, not that someone like Lohan really goes under the radar, but you can never been too sure during this recession.

The reality is that she’s probably shopping with her little brother, and I think she looks amazing, I am not a fan of showering or washing my hair during the summer, because it clears out seats on the bus for me to travel in luxury, like if I had my very own car, which would be nice, except for that whole DUI shit I never dealt with, because I don’t like doing day to day errands, that happened years ago and that now I have to redo driving lessons and shit to get my shit back, which is even more work than day to day errands, and it’s not that big of a deal, because at least on the bus, I get to creep out girls.

Speaking of creeping out girls, hey Lohan, I’m coming for you, literally.

I was listening to Lesbian Radio last night, I don’t have a TV and it happened to be the only thing on that was entertaining. After about 10 minutes of the shit, I realized that Lesbians really take themselves seriously and aren’t all that entertaining at all. They are man hating, pussy licking hippies with little to offer the world but a decent fantasy when you are tired of lookin at dick in your porn because you start questionning whether it is the girl or the guy getting you off, leading to the need to prove to yourself that you like girls.

Either way, my wife made me turn it off because she hates lesbians, because she sees them as college kids who took the whole experimenting shit one step too far and turned it into a lifestyle. When the radio show went to talk about gay marriages, she laughed saying that she thought being a ‘mo was all about never having to get married. You know avoiding the hell that is marriage and when celebs talk about how they are getting Garried, they are just full of shit attention seekers, cuz real gay people would never do something the breeder do.

I guess none of that matters, because we all know Lohan’s just a lesbian for attention and to clean up an image of a vagina that took a couple too many dicks for her age and it is her way of pacing herself out, without having to be alone for any amount of time, because she’s just a broken down childstar with no father figure and an addiction. But who really cares, here they are in bikinis, and unlike the other sites, I have no need to talk about Ronson in a bikini, I have seen a lot worse in a fucking bikini and the good news is that they are skinny. I’ll let you come to your own conclusions as to whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing, because as far as I’m concerned, seeing her in a bikini is a lot better than seeing me in a bikini, mainly because my dick is probably about the same size as her lesbian clit and frankly, it’s pretty embarrassing…..kinda like using the word frankly in a post, that’s so not me.