The funny thing about Paris Hilton that I find fascinating is that she comes from a lot of money and has made a lot of money. Her family comes from money and I think her grandfather came from money. It’s like a long line of blue blooded high society folk, but for some reason she dresses and acts like a gutter slut straight out of the Projects or the Trailer Park, lookin’ to make a few bucks to pay for her baby formula.

Seriously, from the fake hair, to the shitty blonde dye job, to the busted up cleavage and the shitty teenage porn tape, you know she’s gutter trash, but she’s wearing all designer clothes and driving a Bentley….

The whole thing confuses me and screams only one thing and that’s parents that didn’t take the time to care about her and who really cares as long as she’s got her expensive push-up bra on…cuz cleavage is always good whether it’s rich, poor, ulgy or amazing…it’s a universal language.

Pics via Fame

The biggest issue with this motherfucker and his raps is not how uneducated he sounds for someone from a first nation like the USA, it’s his fucking size and not so much the size of his guy, but the size of his tits. Seriously, my wife is built like this, they have the same bra size and I think that’s enough reason for you to understand why I hate fucking the bitch even when I’m hate fucking the bitch, because when you get too fat you become this half man, half woman ball of fucking shit…and when it comes to obscure rap, I’m much more into my South African than my South African American..here’s the video proof…

Kendra Wilkinson is getting married because she’s gone and got herself pregnant, and being a piece of trash she needs her a shotgun wedding, not that that is really a reason to get married today, it’s pretty much accepted if parents aren’t married and I’m sure it has no real ill-effect on the outcome of their annoying kid, it’s just some traditional values, that its a bad look for a whore, to be a stereotype by having a kid out of wedlock, but in reality, we already knew she was a whore to begin with and this only solidifies the fact that she’s a whore, because whore’s are all about the shotgun wedding because they feel obligated or some shit.

I was walking down the street the other day with my friend and his baby and we offered a couple who were getting married on a Tuesday, which we thought was weird, his baby for one of their pictures, and they said they had a baby of their own inside her, and that explained why they were getting married on a Tuesday, she didn’t appreciate my shotgun sound effect, but in her defense, it sounded more like I was chocking on mucus….

Here are the pics.

Bridget Marquardt was there, which is only fitting, since they were in a relationship with the same man/had the same employer who they pretended they dated, up until recently….

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Since I’m really jockin’this girl as hard as I can now that I know she’s single and going through a divorce, which is a pivotal time for me to work my way into a woman’s life because they are usually all sad and fucked up and just want someone to listen to them, I figured I’d post some more pictures of her and her tits, because posting pictures on a bitch is really the only way I know how to show her that I care, I’m pretty useless when it comes to getting off my couch and actually putting the effort in, not that any effort would get me into this girl’s soiled vagina, but posting this shit definitely does nothing for the cause. The good news is that the salt water doesn’t seem to be burning her open sores. Yay!

Here she is in some hot staged photoshoot, it’s only hot because I am in love with her personality or lack there of….

I didn’t expect the pictures of Tori Spelling in a bikini to be all that hot, I mean she is a Jewish girl afterall, and Jewish girls tend to have wonky heads, probably because of generations of inbreeding, unfortunately for Tori, she’s also got pretty wonky fuckin’ tits, probably because of a early 90s boob job her dad got her for her 16th birthday because she was born and raised in LA the pressure of being beautiful that was put on her by her trashy, superficial mother, when she wasn’t too busy drunk, medicated or fuckin the pool boy, made her feel like it was the only way, to counter balance her weird Jew face they couldn’t do much about, since face transplants weren’t technologically developed at the time, but the good news is that she’s rich. The other good news is that she’s not fat. So at least she’s got something goin’ for her….

Since seeing these pictures of Katie Price in a bikini in Ibiza, I’ve decided that I want to move in on her and be her new husband who doesn’t fuck her, not because I wouldn’t want to fuck her dirty AIDS pussy, you know I’m talkin’ straight from an African village pussy, but I figure she won’t want to fuck me, you know, since I’m disgusting, even though I’m quite charming in the way I write on the internet, I know this will be the kind of push I need to get the media coverage I really deserve and need to pump into my site. That’s why, I’ve spent the last 24 hours, dancing on my table while throwing napkins and poppin’/pumpin bottles over my head in a bootleg Ed Hardy shirt while listening to David Guetta, whoever the fuck that is, so be warned Jordan, soon I’ll be the nude guy in the pictures with you only I’ll be coming for you in them and not talking on my mobile phone while showin of my gay ankle tatoo.