To think I had these preconceived notions of Shauna Sand, you know that she was a fake tittied, fake tanned whore, who’s only skill was how fast she could bring a dick to orgasm with her leathery skin and fake plastic lips, but it turns out that I was wrong about her. She is really clever and well spoken, you know how she explains to us how she deals with jealous people by just throwing a smile at them, because cunts like this are so fucking delusional that they truly believe if you’re laughing at her bad tit job, you are jealous of her, because they can’t admit to themselves that they are fucking clowns and since she’s smart enough to try to figure that one out, she’s pretty much proven to be smart enough to be Vice President of the USA, which may not be saying much, but is saying something.
Here are some pictures of Shauna Sand in her classy Halloween Costume…..I guess it’s still called dressing up, even if you aren’t putting all that much clothes on and despite how haggard she looks, I seriously have no problem with this costume.
Shauna Sand brought her novelty tits out in a see through dress the other day. Her other novelty act is juggling balls while balancing on 9 inch heels and swinging around a brass pole, but no one gets to see that, because she’s scared it will take away from her image as an unattainable sex object and make us look at her like she’s some kind of clown with silly make-up on. Oh wait…she is some kind of clown with silly make-up on in high heels after juggling that dude’s balls in her mouth, I guess I got my story screwed up, kinda like how Shauna Sand got her childhood dreams as a street whore screwed up, and ended up living in a big house in Hollywood, only in her case her fuck up ended up with a happy ending, while mine just left me with this really shitty post, but in my defense, who really reads my annoying commentary when all you really came for is the pictures….I quit.
I don’t know if these pictures of Shauna Sand are new or not. She dresses like this everytime she leaves her house so it’s a sight we’ve all seen before, but there’s nothing wrong with celebrating her outfit in hopes that chicks in your neighborhood take her lead and start wearing this shit to work, to school, to the movies, to clubs so that we don’t have to pay those outrageous cover charge prices at the strip club. The only thing we have to figure out is how to put Shauna Sand on the map to become the trendsetter we need her to be. I’ll start working on it now.
Everyone hates on Shauna Sand for being a tacky bitch, but what I know is that despite dressing like a cheap hooker with the name Gary tattooed on her ass, she still manages to keep her composure. She just comes from a school of thought where fake hair, fake tits and skinny everything else is a good thing, and in her defense her career is solely based on the younger version of this look, so like a dog being rewarded a dog treat for doing a trick, Shauna Sand keeps bringing this back out because it is her trick and we’ve all rewarded her for it. The sad thing is that she keeps shit classy by not releasing sex tapes, by never being rude and by always taking the time to clean herself up and despite it not being something you’d want to see your mom wearing, it is something you’d want a slut you bring home to fuck to be wearing and you can’t forget that. Like I can’t forget the time I was forced to hang out with 2 trashy chicks from Michigan at some resort town’s public pool and they were cussin’ and spitting and scratching themselves in disgusting places I wanted to smell and one of them got so drunk she shit herself in the pool and laughed it off despite popular belief amongst trash, shitting in a public pool is not socially acceptable, it is not a value pack sized toilet that you buy at Costco and it is not considered keeping your composure and there is not a chapter is Emily Post’s Book of Etiquette sountil I see Shauna Sand covered in feces, I’m stickin’ to this whole classy angle.
There’s a public pool near my house where families go to get wet during hot summer days and I always see this one chick who I am convinced is a stripper, or was a stripper in her prime. She always walks in with the skimpiest shit on, showing off her fake tacky tits with her half-black baby and she always has a pair of heels on to make her ass look perkier, her legs look longer and thinner and to give the older dudes who happen to be their reason to cheat on their wives with her. She’s clearly on some kind of mission to find love with a man with cash so that she can give her daughter the life she deserves like private school and clothes that aren’t cheap stripper shit she’s forced to share with her mother and her plan hasn’t fully worked out for her, but I am confident that a divorcee who is there one Saturday he’s forced by the court to hang out with his kids while his ex wife has his old house to herself to fuck random dudes in all day long, will fall for her game, and maybe one day he will save her from her poor slut life and take her to the beach on an all inclusive vacation to see if she can actually manage her high heeled whore strut in the sand like she was Shauna Sand….a name that is fitting because, like Jesus walks on water, this bitch can walk on anything as long as she has a pair of her magic whore shoes on to carry her through it. Enjoy.
I don’t know what Shauna Sand was up to this weekend, but I do know she had some kind of flashback to her days workin’ the pole and took off clothing in public before getting into the car. I can only assume that whoever the fuck homeboy who is driving her around is, was expecting a good time on the ride home and she was just prepping, or maybe dude wanted her dirty panties rubbin’ up against his seat so that whenever he needed something to jerk off to, he could always just sniff the fuckin’ seat and smell her putrid cunt, but the point is that I wish more girls had this kind of attitude. The only time I can convince a girl to take off clothes for me is when we are at the stripclub and she’s doing it anyway, but I do a running commentary in my head that makes me feel like I am directing the whole thing and delusionally more involved than I am actually am. It’s that kind of fantasy that helps me keep livin’ and despite Shauna Sand being disgusting, she’s still better lookin’ than most hookers I come across….which isn’t saying much, because the hookers I know have rotting faces and tit jobs that make Shauna Sand’s botched job look like a work of art, but it is still saying something….
I didn’t go to bed last night because I was looking for something exciting, I didn’t find much but when I got home, the sun was up and I decided to lay out on the building’s fire escape and get some like I was back home in Mexico. I passed the fuck out and didn’t hear a fuckin’ thing, until I was rudely awaken about 20 minutes ago by the guilt of not updating the fucking site, like this shit was my job or my wife or some shit. So the homeless guy who was pissing next to me didnt annoy me, the pigeon who shat on my face didn’t annoy me, my crazy screaming neighbor and her crazy screaming husband and their crazy screaming baby didn’t annoy me, the police sirens, the cars honking, the construction down the street and the fact that I was sleeping on a metal fucking grate didn’t annoy me, but you somehow managed to annoy me.
Here are some pictures of Shauna Sand, showing off her whore body and her shitty ass and bad fake tits on the beach. I am only posting them because I like the fat dudes expression when she walks by him, like he just witnessed the coming of christ or some shit because they don’t make pussy like that where he’s from. These could be old, but you can never tell with Shauna Sand because she always looks the same shade of haggard orange and she always wears the same shoes, it’s like bitch is timeless or some shit.
I am a pretty materialistic person and I figure that if you drive a Benz, no matter how trashy you’re no hipped, disgusting plastic surgery ridden prostitute lookin’ body is, you are still high society by my standards, like the other day when I saw some dude got out of his Porsche with some slag with fake tits and ass exposing shorts and trashy stripper shoes, the last thing I thought about was that he either won the lottery or was some kind of pimp, drug dealer, loan shark or mobster who only had that car because he was a sleazy piece of shit. As far as I am concerned, Shauna Sand enjoys croquet, high tea time and most importantly the long drive out to her villa where she is an avid fox hunter.
I know strippers who have had many back alley implants done because they were affordable and because the girls were more interested in having big fake tits than not getting hepatitis, HIV, or infections from the dirty unsterilized room and over the years, there were only a few accidents, like nipples started to take on a new shape, silicone would leak and turn tits black and one girl even claimed her nipple fell off when she took a shower, which I don’t believe because she smelled like she never showered. But even when that shit was re-applied, it still looked better than whatever the fuck is going on with Shauna Sand’s tit.
I know, like the strippers I knew, her tits were the foundation of her useless career of getting naked as some Playboy Trash, because despite Playboy’s marketing ploy that their girls are classy, they are usually just big blonde gutter sluts livin’ on a trashy dream but it’s pretty clear that her career was one that didn’t pay too much because her tits look a lot like the bad haircut I once got at a Hair Dressing School because I had to clean up for a job interview, but walked away with a patchy mess that made the people hiring me think I was dying of cancer, a fate less painful than whatever Shauna Sand’s pussy died of.
Nothing says classy like a bitch with a Playboy tattoo who’s only claim to fame is being in Playboy. It’s like she got that shit back when she was a worthless stripper and the guys at Playboy felt obligated to give her a spread because they were so flattered that she was enough of a slut to brand herself with their company logo. Thank god they don’t do that for every tacky party slut who has a Playboy tattoo because I know that hot girls rarely get that shit, it’s more like every single tacky fat party slut who thinks she’s got it going on because one asshole was drunk enough to tell her she looked good enough for Playboy to get a blowjob and she took her new found self esteem to the tattoo parlor to remember that day forever…..
Shauna Sand has no ass and that’s the reason why she flaunts her tits everywhere they are go like it’s her last day out with them before they get removed or some shit. I just thought it was because she’s a whore and likes to show off what she thinks are god’s gift to the world, even though got was a $5,000 charge on her credit card. Then I thought maybe she was just a victim of breast implants, where girls who get implants end up going crazy as fuck with their new tits and pull them out everywhere they go, because their relationship is more of one you have with a new car than one you have with your body parts. Now I realize that shit is just a way to divert male attention from the fact that she has no ass at all and she’s more like a hot chick who hangs with fat chicks to make herself look skinnier or like when I go out drinking with bigger drunks than me, because people notice what you want them to.
That said, you all have to realize that today is Halloween, I don’t dress up because I am a downer and find that shit lame and don’t believe in holidays, but I know that if you’re looking for love or to get laid, this is the best time to go for it. All the girls dressed slutty are going to be horny as fuck because dudes have been lookin’ at their asses like they are a brand new fleshlight all day and you already have an opener. All you have to do is go up to whoever it is you’re lookin’ at and comment on their costume, or come up with a costume that you’ve set up to make girls come up to you and talk to you. I know a dude who went as an AIM contact list and had 15 girls lined up to add their contact info on the buddy list. So do something creative and funny and if you follow my advice, you’ll have a great fucking night. But you won’t because you’re just going to stay home and cry yourself to sleep like you do every night, like the poor fucker who takes Shauna Sand home only to realize she’s got kids and when he flips her over to fuck her from behind - that she’s got no ass and will be struggling like he’s on Survivor to get her back on her back so that he can focus on her tits and trick or treat all over her face.
I caught my wife cleaning the toilet with my toothbrush the other day, she’s creative like that and probably saw it on some soap opera or shit she watches on tv all day. I was actually really happy to see her cleaning for the first time in the last 5 years together. But then I realized that Paypal has all my money and I can’t buy a new one. I am not sure what I did to piss her off, it may have been coming home with a pair of panties from a girl I convinced to take off her panties in the club and bragging to my wife about how amazing of an experience it was by making her smell them to see that they weren’t clean, but none of that matters. What does matter is that my mouth tastes like I’ve been eating shit and yes, I know what shit tastes like, it’s a long story that I don’t want to relive.
Speakin’ of shit here are some pictures of Shauna Sand at some event dressed as classy as this whore can get with a Chanel bracelet on. She’s the kind of girl you could probably convince to let you shit on them because it would be taking your sex life to the next level, when in reality you just hate her for being such a whore and shitting on her is the only way to make yourself feel better about things.
Either way, the good news is that washed up ex-Playmates may be the only people dressed like this on the daily, but it’s Halloween, so get ready for everyday girls to be doin’ the Shauna Sand, even though they’ve probably never heard of her. All the madness starts in a few hours.
I was trying to decide whether I should bother posting these or not, because I know that I don’t give a fuck about this washed up Playboy playmate with big fake tits, but then I realized that I spent most of my day looking out the window and that it was less work for me to do this post than it was for me to actually sit down and try to edit a Day Dream no one watches, or try to come up with some amazing concept that will put me on the map and land me some kind of money….
I know that all the good looking girls who just finished University for the semester and who haven’t made their way back home are out on the patios around the city getting drunk in very little clothes and a huge part of me wants to go watch them in action, but bars don’t let you in with your own booze, because they are assholes….
Either way, the internet’s got some tits for me that may not be as exciting as a real chick, but being married, impotent, poor and unshowered kinda means even if I was out there, I wouldn’t be seeing any nipple by the end of the night…so this is all the action I’ll be getting. At least I am not alone…thanks for always making me feel better about myself. Virgin.
